Right in the midde as any human child,
Friday, July 18, 2014
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Pushing Begins in Labor and Continues Through Life
- 18, Graduation soon, but still pushing.
Pushing Begins in Labor and Continues Through Life
Today is the day after my son turned 18 years old. Reflecting back, I realize when they told me to push during labor, that was the begining of a continual process. Whether your child has special needs or is quote "normal," it is a parental job to push children beyond their comfort zone.
Sometimes I have felt guilty for being "General Mommy or Sergeant Mommy;" so nicknamed by dad, my husband Bill.
- Bill Adcock husband to Sandra and father of Tanner, now 18.
Tanner was not an easy baby. He had troubles eating from the start. He through up and would be considered a colic baby. Working with doctors and listening to the expereince of my mom(mother of four) resulted in putting rice in each bottle to help decrease the throwing up and weight gain proceeded.
At the age of six months, Tanner landed in the hospital for RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus). Funny now but not at the time my sister recalls that I was not making sense and thought I was kidding when I called her to tell her You see I was a nervous parent going from the doctor's office straight to the hospital and told her he had RSVP virus.
The hospital stay was almost a week. It may have been worse for my husband and I to endure than Tanner. Seeing your child in an oxygen tent and having tests ran in a haze of a short time is traumatic. Then they tell you to move because you are in the way! Parental rights show up in your eyes resulting in a "Please" being spit out immediately and apoligetically. He came along fine after about three months of nebulizer treatments, beating on the chest with a suction cup to break up secrestions and being on/off antibiotics.
Tanner was sick off and on quite often. It seems I can remember all of his early holidays being sick. My sister, that dresses very professionly all the time, was thrown up on and her car when she took him to the doctor for me right before his first Christmas. That was one of the first holidays he was sick on.
Tanner weighted 17 pounds at one year old. Both my husband I worried about him. He didn't or wouldn't eat well sometimes. He stayed on his formula until he was about two years old or a bit older. He refused milk.
At thirteen months if was obvious we were dealing with more than one could understand. My husband moved a toy or his cup about an inch or two. He came back running to move it back to the exact position. I new then and along with some other things observed there was something "wrong" or not quite right.
I am telling you all this for a reason. This made it hard to make hard choices when he was older. Worring about his health and weight gain, we let him start eating an unhealthy diet. This wasn't at the time but it developed into a stance later on. This also made being hard on him extremely trying.
Thus, began the parental divide on how to parent. How do you face the something "wrong" or not normal along with health concerns? I realized that at a certain point I couldn't go the path of least reistance. Everyone had advise but I read while seaching for the reasons. Family said not to worry and my husband appeard to me to like "denial."
Then and there I decided a proactive approach was best. I proceeded to get Tanner into Preschool at age three. I pushed for extra therapies like, speech and music. I enrolled him in Kindermusic because of the benefits I had read about music in special needs and other areas of life. One of his first sentences he said was sung back to me. On our way to music class I sung to him, "Now it is time for music, music, music." He was restless and sung back, "Now it's time for Grandma's, Grandma's!" I was proud. He had talked some but not like that.
The school said to make picture books and have him say what the picture was. I made a jillion picture books. Tanner would have to say his ABC's as I wrote them in the dirt at the park before he could swing. Later he would have to write them.
I made 26 pages of huge ABC's on letter size paper. Sensory issues were present and I read about trying differnt tactile approaches. I cut out Sandpaper ABC's. I found the experts that I thought could help me with advancing my son's chances of a better life. I used the program "Handwriting Without Tears," to help him with writing. This was on top of what the school was doing for him and the extra therapies I could afford like Speech and Occupational Therapy.
Do you see the pushing going on? This continues for 18 years. Tanner has autism so pushing can be a delicate balance. I have him volunteering to gain job skills. Do or did I feel guilty for being "A hard A$$?" Sometimes!
Yet, let us ask the questions of what might have happened if I had given up? Believed those provider's that were foolish to advise me to put my son in an institution? Gone the path of least reisistance? I doubt my son would be where he is today. This has meant many battles in my marriage and in parenting my son with my husband.
Sometimes those with autism have problems with hygeine. Tanner doesn't like his hair cut or wash it well all the time either. I have wrestled with this for years. His counselor said to do one thing and my therapist disagrees.
This means another "Big PUSH" to help him into adulthood. The ultimatum will be to keep his hair clean with two warnings, with the third resulting in a BUZZ CUT! I have said this before. Yes, I am human. I don't follow through on everything. Parenting cam be DEMANDING. Fights on how to parent wear you out. However, this time I have the resolve to do it.
Thus, remember from the start of labor and delivery of your child when they tell you to "PUSH" it means for life not only during birth!
Pushing Begins in Labor anc Continues Through Life
- 18, Graduation soon, but still pushing.
Pushing Begins in Labor and Continues Through Life
Today is the day after my son turned 18 years old. Reflecting back, I realize when they told me to push during labor, that was the begining of a continual process. Whether your child has special needs or is quote "normal," it is a parental job to push children beyond their comfort zone.
Sometimes I have felt guilty for being "General Mommy or Sergeant Mommy;" so nicknamed by dad, my husband Bill.
- Bill Adcock husband to Sandra and father of Tanner, now 18.
Tanner was not an easy baby. He had troubles eating from the start. He through up and would be considered a colic baby. Working with doctors and listening to the expereince of my mom(mother of four) resulted in putting rice in each bottle to help decrease the throwing up and weight gain proceeded.
At the age of six months, Tanner landed in the hospital for RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus). Funny now but not at the time my sister recalls that I was not making sense and thought I was kidding when I called her to tell her You see I was a nervous parent going from the doctor's office straight to the hospital and told her he had RSVP virus.
The hospital stay was almost a week. It may have been worse for my husband and I to endure than Tanner. Seeing your child in an oxygen tent and having tests ran in a haze of a short time is traumatic. Then they tell you to move because you are in the way! Parental rights show up in your eyes resulting in a "Please" being spit out immediately and apoligetically. He came along fine after about three months of nebulizer treatments, beating on the chest with a suction cup to break up secrestions and being on/off antibiotics.
Tanner was sick off and on quite often. It seems I can remember all of his early holidays being sick. My sister, that dresses very professionly all the time, was thrown up on and her car when she took him to the doctor for me right before his first Christmas. That was one of the first holidays he was sick on.
Tanner weighted 17 pounds at one year old. Both my husband I worried about him. He didn't or wouldn't eat well sometimes. He stayed on his formula until he was about two years old or a bit older. He refused milk.
At thirteen months if was obvious we were dealing with more than one could understand. My husband moved a toy or his cup about an inch or two. He came back running to move it back to the exact position. I new then and along with some other things observed there was something "wrong" or not quite right.
I am telling you all this for a reason. This made it hard to make hard choices when he was older. Worring about his health and weight gain, we let him start eating an unhealthy diet. This wasn't at the time but it developed into a stance later on. This also made being hard on him extremely trying.
Thus, began the parental divide on how to parent. How do you face the something "wrong" or not normal along with health concerns? I realized that at a certain point I couldn't go the path of least reistance. Everyone had advise but I read while seaching for the reasons. Family said not to worry and my husband appeard to me to like "denial."
Then and there I decided a proactive approach was best. I proceeded to get Tanner into Preschool at age three. I pushed for extra therapies like, speech and music. I enrolled him in Kindermusic because of the benefits I had read about music in special needs and other areas of life. One of his first sentences he said was sung back to me. On our way to music class I sung to him, "Now it is time for music, music, music." He was restless and sung back, "Now it's time for Grandma's, Grandma's!" I was proud. He had talked some but not like that.
The school said to make picture books and have him say what the picture was. I made a jillion picture books. Tanner would have to say his ABC's as I wrote them in the dirt at the park before he could swing. Later he would have to write them.
I made 26 pages of huge ABC's on letter size paper. Sensory issues were present and I read about trying differnt tactile approaches. I cut out Sandpaper ABC's. I found the experts that I thought could help me with advancing my son's chances of a better life. I used the program "Handwriting Without Tears," to help him with writing. This was on top of what the school was doing for him and the extra therapies I could afford like Speech and Occupational Therapy.
Do you see the pushing going on? This continues for 18 years. Tanner has autism so pushing can be a delicate balance. I have him volunteering to gain job skills. Do or did I feel guilty for being "A hard A$$?" Sometimes!
Yet, let us ask the questions of what might have happened if I had given up? Believed those provider's that were foolish to advise me to put my son in an institution? Gone the path of least reisistance? I doubt my son would be where he is today. This has meant many battles in my marriage and in parenting my son with my husband.
Sometimes those with autism have problems with hygeine. Tanner doesn't like his hair cut or wash it well all the time either. I have wrestled with this for years. His counselor said to do one thing and my therapist disagrees.
This means another "Big PUSH" to help him into adulthood. The ultimatum will be to keep his hair clean with two warnings, with the third resulting in a BUZZ CUT! I have said this before. Yes, I am human. I don't follow through on everything. Parenting cam be DEMANDING. Fights on how to parent wear you out. However, this time I have the resolve to do it.
Thus, remember from the start of labor and delivery of your child when they tell you to "PUSH" it means for life not only during birth!
Friday, July 4, 2014
F Is For Friendship
"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly : and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."
My sister is like a friend. But I have a friend Becky of forty plus years. She sticks closer than a sister almost. It is hard to distinguish between the two. Why? Because both are my friends, my best friends.
What is a friend?
1. (Miriam Webster) a person who you like and enjoy being.
2. (Miriam Webster) a favored companion.
3. (Miriam Webster) a person who has a strong liking for and trust in another.
Synonyms (Miriam Webster) cohort, confident, supporter, collaborator, and main woman.
Becky and Twila meet all of these critera.
Sandra's (my defenition) of friendship.
1. Shared experiences.
2. Support each other in all life needs.
3. Keep in touch often.
4. Help each other in all needs.
5. Will be there in all future life expereinces and future needs.
6. We do this because we care an love each other.
My sister Twila has been around since my birth. We had our differences growing up. I owe my sister plenty. If I need her she is always there to help and support me. I love her not because of this but because she loves me and does it out of love. She is an angel on earth.
Becky is my friend that got in trouble with and we grew up together. We learned about life together. We learned from our mistakes with one another. We decided what kind of parents we would be because of what we did wrong.
Becky keeps in touch with me almost daily. Cares like a sister. She is part of my family. She grew up knowing my sister Twila and her best friend Kathy, now my sister-in-law and another friend.
Friendship means we can call on one another anytime and we all come running not out of duty but because we care. I am blessed to have Becky, Twila and Kathy and others in my life.
KJV Provers 27:5 Open rebuke is better than secret love.
Friends will openly rebuke you. Hoesty is something that comes with friendship. They call you on thing s when you need it. They slap you down when you need it. Not physically but with words to make you see what is good and right for you.
What more can I say about friendship? Friendship is a special kind of love. If you haven't known it then you have missed a great thing on Earth. It is not to late.
If you follow the Golden Rule, you will find a friend that will treat you right back with the special kind of love called friendship.
My Dream Summer "Camp Read-All"
I read about a Camp Kindness with the Nebraska Human Society recently. Children read to dogs. 
http://www.nehumanesociety.org/site/PageServer?pagename=programs_CampKindness#.U7cDFY1dVy8
I hope to get a camp like this going in Yukon/Oklahoma City Metro Area. I love the idea that kids read to dogs. This takes away all the anxiety of mis-pronoucing words. I prefer to work with special needs kids because my son has autism and this is what I know. However, this is limiting those that need to gain reading skills.
I have a vision where Camp Read-All will have all these activities;
1. Reading to Dogs 2. Working with the dogs on training maybe reading about this. 3. Walking the dogs. 4. Using highschool kids to work with the animals and kids. 5. Have middle school kids be a resource for the younger kids on reading skills. 6. Reading to the elderly in nursing homes. 7. Trip to the library and on how to use this. 8. Trip to a local bookstore.
I would look for grants from Purina (has a plant in Edmond, Oklahoma), Pet stores. Literacy sources, and Federal/State sources.
Please if you have any ideas to help make my dream come true, let me know.
Volunteer Day at Camp Swanky
July 30th I volunteered at Camp Swanky, sponsored by AutismOklahoma.org. This is an art camp where Senior artists with BeesKnees, http://www.beeskneesart.com/, work with younger artists.
A question was asked, "What inspires you in art?"
One girl, "How I feel in my art work."
One male camper, "My favorite thing is animation."
Another male camper says, "Brand new fantasy!"
The former Beesknees' coordinater is leading this day. Asks what a Nontraditional Artist is. Then he tells the Campers to sketch what the like. Below are some examles of what they sketched and worked on.
One girl kept saying "I don't want to be here."
I explained to her about Salvador Dali's melting clock painting. She drew a boot on time of a clock. The camp was for those with autism. It takes a while for those with autism to get used to new suroundings. This was new to her. Some of the other campers had been there at Camp Swanky before. Or, others had art classes before that they had participated in before. One camper came from Lawton, Oklahoma to El Reno Oklahoma to particpate in Camp Swanky.
I heard that this girl adjusted and ended up drawing and painting plenty of art. The best was she seemed to enjoy herself. There will be an art show displaying the art from Camp Swanky. I will post updates from the show on this blog when the show happens.
Other favorite things stated were;
Rainbows Muffin horses People watching fireworks Flowers Computers Control over planets "Fusion Power."
There is a need for more camps like these.