Obvious Trouble with Current Accepted Disability Advocacy; Pointing Out What is Wrong!

Having a disability and being able to identify this.  My son has taught me a lot about this.  It is a very touchy subject.   There is an advantage to saying I have blank.  When a person goes to Secondary Education and asking for the help that is needed means naming your disability.

Consider these things about having to say I have blank.  How many people like being singled out?  Do you want to be known for being different or having a disability?  Did you want to belong to specific groups?  How many realize the peer pressure teens with disabilitiies face?  Are called stupid or dumb for going to Lab Class for help?   Going through all these issues at or during adolescent? Recall Freak Shows at the Fair and Circues?

Many teens and people in general with a disability see themselves as being flawed.  A number of those in this population feel like naming their disability means something is wrong with them.  A few might consider themselves less than whole.

This is my son Tanner Mack Adcock.  Every time I have tried to teach him about his disability and to name it; he gets upset.  He doesn't want to be known as a person with a disability.  He is adamant he doesn't have a disability. Being in an inclusive Oklahoma History, one incentive for him to do good without any accommadations is to be able to stay in the classroom and take tests or whatever. If a child or teen goes to lab for help he might be labled as Retarded.

Another issue I have with what is considered correct Disability Advocacy deals with having teens lead their IEP meetings.  This can be an awful amount of pressure for a teen.  What teenager really knows what they want to do? Would we consider letting those labeled "normal" lead a class?  Be in charge of more?  Actually when I taught high school Biology I had teens present a paper, be video taped and have the so called authority of teaching the class.  Their material was on my test. I gave them what I got.  Which was asking to go to the bathroom and such.

Please understand, I believe that the interests of the teen are paramount.  I only feel that direction of the meeting needs to be left in the hands of adults and direct the teens in having a meeting that covers all the things that should be done for him.  Trust me how many teens declare a college major and end up with that being their final degree path?  More should be expected from these teens.

How many teens with disabilities go on to be successful?  How many owe that to a parent that has pushed the teen to contiue exploriong a path?  Looking at jobs and pushing the teen to continue on in career or other?

Had I to do it over, I would been less about my son saying he has autism and more about him understanding when to ask for help.  Then I would have explained more about how some people have specific needs and identified the people like President George Washington had huge spelling problems but overcame them.  I would explain that people that have challenges need assistance and by understanding that this label may mean you can overcome this with a specific thing.

Does everybody know that a Blind person needs a cane or that a cane greatly increases his/her ability to get around?   Do we keep telling a person that is Blind to identifiy his disability or spend more time teaching him to use a cane to get around?  How much time do we spend on teaching a person that needs a wheelchair that he has a mobility disability?    Or, do we concentrate on teaching him/her to use the wheelchair to get aroud?

If I could go back and do it over; I would center my time and energy on teaching my son to grasp his needs to master challenges in life and be able to communicate that to others.  Conveying to my son the importance of being able to ask for and communicate how support is a necessity for meeting the demands of this world.   Or, somehow be more positivie in getting him to name his disabilities to be succesful in this world be where I placed my resolve with him.

I believe that being politically correct and following the trends in Disability Advocacy is less important than doing what is needed.  I failed to listen to my son in his insistent of prefering to be identified as normal or not disabled.  What I hope to convey in this post is for you to understand you the authority on your child.  Try to listen to them and find a way to do what is needed without being afraid you are doing the right or correct way.

Become confident in yourself with regard to your child.  There are no better specialists on a child than their parent or Guardian.  Please learn from my mistakes.  Instead of helping my son name his disability, I conveyed to him that he is different or that I think he there is something wrong with him.  I am sure you know this was not my intent. Raising any child is scary. Trials and life associated with raising and planning for a child with extrodinary abilities is daunting.

If you have advice to me, disagree with my slant on this or other; commenting is crucial to boost parents or those working with this population to teach them how to do this.

Merry Christmas -N-Blessings 4 -2015

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS

REMIND US YOU ARE THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!

TANNER'S 17TH BIRTHAY

Bill with the babies: Sandie and Spike(Now in heaven)

 TANER WINNING FIRST PLACE IN 100 METER DASH SPECIAL OLYMPICS STILLWATER, OK

 MERYY CHRISTMAS

TANNER AT JUNIOR PROM 2014

 SUMMER 2014 VISTING BIG RED BARN ARCADIA, OK

 CELEBRATING TANNER'S 17TH BIRTHDAY

  CELEBRATING TANNER'S 17TH BIRTHDAY(FAVORITE AUNT TWILA MALLO)

  CELEBRATING TANNER'S 17TH BIRTHDAY

 TANNER ABOUT TO SIT FOR SENIOR PICTURES

Homemade Crafted Sensory Tunnell how to link

http://www.andnextcomesl.com/2014/12/homemade-sensory-tunnel.html

BLOG POST ON AUTISM AND CHRISTMAS GIFTS SEE LINK

http://fromabcstoacts.com/autism-friendly-christmas-gift-ideas

Autism Source Org

http://www.autismsource.org/

AUTISM NETWORK INTERNATIONAL

http://www.autismnetworkinternational.org/

Link about Space Launch; How much contribution has been made to the space Program by Autism?

http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2014-12-02/nasas-orion-test-flight-gets-us-closer-to-mars
Visual and spatial strengths!!  Plus, repeated patterns...ability to see patterns..
*********Often been found that engineers run in families.....autism too.
How much do we owe to autism with regard to the Space Program?
******Remember Temple Grandin's Grandfather invented the auto pilot for planes!!

Autism, Education, Social Services and more REsources

Twitter Appreciation: Happy Thxging,Resource Pgs https://www.facebook.com/Tell.It.Once.4Autism,https://www.facebook.com/ReframingResources,https://www.facebook.com/KASSSOK My desire is 2 help. Promise! INfo these pages good

My Drag Way Path to Divorce or Seperation?

Always in motion but this means no comotion.

 

Where to begin?  1986?  When I first felt I had fallen for my husband?  Our dating til 1993?  A marriage on the rocks?  A foundation I now realize was lacking but now understand was not on the sand as a wiseman builds his house?  The birth of my son that brought it all home?

I worked at the hospital where my husband did.  I was an Intern Pharmacy Student.   He was a Charge Pharmacist on the sixth floor. Seven years older, made him seem so stable, handsome, and ideal.

Our dating started after my work there had stopped.  I quit.  The dates continued.  Having work in common gave us plenty to talk about and discuss.

Assumptions are the killers.  A person goes to church every Sunday.  This doesn't mean he/she is perfect.  It doesn't make them better than you.  It may mean they try harder or they are only going through the motions.  Please don't quit going to church because of my comment.   I mention this because it was a trait I admired in my current husband.

If a person has a bunch of rules about when this are that can take place, how things must go and has little tolerance; RUN!!!  This only means as it appears to you.  For your perceptions are the only things you have to decide what you want in life, should run away from and embrass if you choose.

Disagreements are the norm.  However, each of you have a different life.  This is especially true if you both work. Therefore these little syptoms go ignored like many with the illness of cancer.  By the time you realize the differences are of concern; like cancer it is highly likely it could be terminal.

A child is born. The husband actually has the audacity to ask if it his child.  My gosh.  There has never been an indication of cheating; even til this day. In my case a special needs child with Autism, ADD, Auditory Processing Disorder, Ocular Motor Disfunction, Learning Disabilities and more on and on.  He is a child that is loved and wanted.  One parent is proactive and the other chooses to hide a head in the sand.  One person starts talking with ultimatums.

"You took him to the park?" Asks the husband.  "You might have had a heart attack!"

One one of the few times out after the birth of the child, a mother-in-law calls.  She asks the sister of the mom that is taking care of the child,"You took him to the park? What if he skins his knee?" The normal sister perks up and answers quickly right back, "He will survive like all the rest of the children in this world!"

Fights continue about how to care for the child.  At six months he is in the hospital.  The husband blames the wife.  Why did you take him to Baby Jymboree?  Your family is always kissing on him.  You don't wash your hands well enough.

Did this have anything to do with his special needs?  Did inducing labor a bit early cause it?  Is it your families genes?  Or, the other side?

As a mother one does the best she can.  The research to help her son leads down a dark realization that all the extra help needed is not always covered or seldom is, by health insurance.  The husband says this is unnecessary.  The mother continues and at least gets her child in preschool early.

Do you know what "Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy," is? Here is a definition, "Munchausen syndrome by proxy is a mental illness and a form of child abuse. The caretaker of a child, usually a mother, either makes up fake symptoms or causes real symptoms to make it look like the chld is sick." The husband says the wife has this.  He says she wants attention for what is wrong with the child?

Everything done by the wife seems to be wrong.  Arguments go on and on.  More details are not needed.  This is the parenting drama until November 25th, 2014.  While in a counseling session with my son's counselor and my husband, it is clear to me.  This will never end.  My son is distressed by his parents.  A divorce or seperation will mean clear concise rules for him.  This will mean no more back and forth between the parents.

Part of this is a child working two parents against another.  Playing parents against one another is something my husband says special needs kids don't do.  I know different.  The other part that is bad is listening to parents go back and forth round-n-round where the carousel will never stop.

This is the "Drag Way to my Divorce or Seperation."  I plan to execute a leave January 2015.  The trial will go through March.  I am leaning toward getting back together to be a one in a million shot.

Please feel free to comment and share your trials with me.  They may help me.

Too much damage done?  My son will be in his last semester  of high school.

My son is important to me but there is a saying that taking care of one's self is primary so caring for others can still happen.

Autism under reported in Minorities?

Please check out this article @
http://www.psychiatryadvisor.com/autism-likely-underreported-in-minority-children/article/381985/?DCMP=EMC-PA_Update&CPN=&spMailingID=9886306&spUserID=ODE4MzExMzE2ODUS1&spJobID=420857923&spReportId=NDIwODU3OTIzS0

The article says autism under reported in blacks and Hispanics. I didn't see a state to state comarision.

It does make me wonder about the l: 88 and l:53. Is autism under reported? too Broad a category to get sufficiant data?

I propose More specific Spectrum varieties, those that Co occur with oTher issues in what%'S and more be defined better so research advan cement can happen faster,

Too many stabs at a vague definition with so many variables decreases the chance of real progress. specifics can push research forward light years.

Also, we need to decrease underserved populations. This is for humanity and Science, Variables by race must be addressed fer proper treatment and the Scientific light that Can be shinned on Autism in general.

These are My opinions. Also, as a scientist, Ikrow defining the issues and plodding forward in a logical, methodical order provide the best outcomes when attacking problems that need to be solved.

Autism and all disorders teach us humanity should realize the luxury of racism is outdated and wrong.

Autism under reported in Minorities?

Please check out this article @
http://www.psychiatryadvisor.com/autism-likely-underreported-in-minority-children/article/381985/?DCMP=EMC-PA_Update&CPN=&spMailingID=9886306&spUserID=ODE4MzExMzE2ODUS1&spJobID=420857923&spReportId=NDIwODU3OTIzS0

The article says autism under reported in blacks and Hispanics. I didn't see a state to state comarision.

It does make me wonder about the l: 88 and l:53. Is autism under reported? too Broad a category to get sufficiant data?

I propose More specific Spectrum varieties, those that Co occur with oTher issues in what%'S and more be defined better so research advan cement can happen faster,

Too many stabs at a vague definition with so many variables decreases the chance of real progress. specifics can push research forward light years.

Also, we need to decrease underserved populations. This is for humanity and Science, Variables by race must be addressed fer proper treatment and the Scientific light that Can be shinned on Autism in general.

These are My opinions. Also, as a scientist, Ikrow defining the issues and plodding forward in a logical, methodical order provide the best outcomes when attacking problems that need to be solved.

Autism and all disorders teach us humanity should realize the luxury of racism is outdated and wrong.

INFORMATION KITS ON PREMATURE INFANTS FOR PARENTS AND HOSPITALS

My goal is to inform.  Bragging is at the bottom of that list.  I wish I had time to improve on my journalistic style but may later.  I feel getting to the point on this information is better for all involved.

I was blessed to come across this information from newsletters and only plan to pass it along.

Please understand that none of this is for diagnosis, treatment or prevention.  Please see your healthcare provider for all your heealthcare needs.

Available for download from the NIH;

     >**Named “Transitioning Newborns from NICU to Home: A Resource Toolkit”   Can           be found in PDF form on the web named nicutoolit.pdf

   > Transitioning Newborns from NICU to Home Family Information Packet.  Can be              found on web in PDF form under nicupacket.pdf

   >Beginnings Guides: Beginnings Pregnancy Guide & Beginnings Parents Guide                Evidence Base and Guidelines for Effective Use

Please share.  The goal is to make all people more informed.

This is a short to the point blog informing people about resources.  Style of writing is brief and to the point.  I hope those reading this understand. My thoughts are that people don’t want a lot of extra’s but just the information!

Amended Rule

Amended Rule “Robot boy!” Called two boys, Josh and Rick to Charles. Charles, a boy of honest blue eyes and jet black hair, yells back, “Am not you box heads!” Just then a bathroom door opens a sliver of a crack. This happened to be a good and bad time for Sonya, Charles’s mother to see an eyeful. Sonya was an ever faithful volunteer at Mountainview Elementary; when she was not working as a “female jack of all trades” for a private eye. Sonya’s first instinct was to fling open the door and rescue her darling boy. Sonya knew, though, that Charles had to learn to handle these situations on his own. Sonya did feel that gathering information about what was going on would help her prepare Charles better. At that moment Charles says, “Don’t do that!” He is kicked by one boy and hit by the other. This area of the halls and time of day lends itself for bullying. There are few teachers in this area of the halls. It is hard to see what is going on. During this time of day the principal is in the lunch room and the extra help is on the playground or in the gym, thus leaving less help to monitor the halls. Sonya knows these boys. They are in Charles’s class. Sonya concludes these boys have been mistreated themselves. Most kids in the special education classes have been treated badly by other kids at some point in their school career. Most likely these boys want to feel some power over another child to make themselves feel better too, having previously been bullied. Sonya thinks of the Chris, her husband and Charles father, have given Charles, “Never hit anyone.” This rule will have to be rethought and ‘amended.’ Sonya makes a unilateral decision she knows will anger Chris but someone has to do something to help her son. Sonya goes back to her volunteering and things about it. She will also talk to Charles about it on the way home. During the ride home Sonya asks, “Charles, why didn’t you hit back today when the boys called you robot boy and hit and kicked you?” “Mom you told me not to hit anybody ever.” Replied Charles mater of factly. Sonya knew she faced a hard dilemma. She had to be very precise with her ‘Amended Rule.’ Kids with autism were quite concrete and literal in their thinking. Sonya also had to reach her son to stand up for himself in the right way. This brought up another approach Chris wasn’t going to like but someone has to take care of things. Sonya would sign up Charles for karate. Sonya herself had a green belt. While Sonya remembered very little of the forms except how cute the boys looked when doing them, she still knew enough to have kept a would be purse thief from success once. Karate, if one went to the right place, taught you only to fight if you had to. Also, karate had been shown to be great in helping kids like Charles to increase their motor skills, attention span, self esteem and anxiety issues. Sonya had these mentally put away for defense note when Chris would fight against this move. A more immediate and pressing thing she would have to do herself is show Charles a few techniques herself. Chris wouldn’t be doing this. “Charles when we get home put up your stuff and put some shorts one. I have a few things to show you that will help you defend yourself. Okay?” “Yes mom.” Charles answered his mother. Sonya asks, “What is the ‘Amended Rule?’” Charles states, “I may hit or kick one time in order to get away and if I am pursued I must tell a grownup But if not pursued I do not have to tell a grownup.” Charles being a small child that worries about his parents argueing asks, “Will daddy like this mommy?” “Don’t worry about that son. Just do as I tell you. Daddy wasn’t at school. I was.” Sonya tells Charles. Chris gets home after Charles is in his room almost ready for bed. This is not unusual for Chris to work late. Sonya will have to remind Chris again that he could have stayed home with Charles if he wanted to. Sonya had the same training as Chris. But they had decided together that Sonya would work part time so Charles would have a parent with him more often at school and at home. Sonya tells Chris what has happened today. Chris’s eyes are turning red and flares start pouring out of blood vessels as they are about to pop. “No Sonya you are wrong. Just what makes you think you are so right? I am going to undo this tomorrow. You are stupid. What kind of idiot tells their kid to hit another kid and then not tell and adult in this situation?” Chris yells out. Chris asks with a little lower voice, “Can you get your money back on the karate?” “No and I am not going to ask. Furthermore don’t call me any names you useless excuse for a father. Where were you when this was going on? Why haven’t you been teaching your son how to defend himself like a man should have done by now? I have to do it as always. You never to any of the hard things. You want to be a Disney dad. How do you think he feels right now or he felt today? Think of him for once and not yourself. Should he let himself be beat to a pulp? Do you want him feeling like a looser? Your walking on thin ice here mister.” Sonya bellows out in the loudest voice of all Chris’s final remark is, “Well they best call you at your work and not me if and when Charles is expelled for hitting another child. I can’t be bothered to take off for such nonsense!” Sonya, even more upset now, “That’s it in a nutshell isn’t it.” Yet, her words were cut off by Chris slamming the door to his computer room. Sonya wished she had a sanctuary to go to. Sonya set there fuming even more because she didn’t. She wondered if she should proceed in to the room. Darn right she should. “Where does Chris get off thinking he can just shut her out?” She had given up a lot for this whole family. Right now being silenced was not going to be one of them. Still trying to get Chris to understand, Sonya opens the door. “Okay we will see who is right but I need help getting him to and from karate. Karate has a lot to offer and you know it. Prove me wrong on that and I will be happy to drop it. So will you help me are not?” Chris just slams the door in her face one more time. Charles comes walking out of his room, “Is everything okay mommy?” Sonya tells him everything will be fine. Then proceeds to tell him about how two bunny parents had disputes over raising their offspring and how it all worked out. She made up quite a good story she thought. Sonya picked bunnies because Charles had a soft spot for them. Over the next two weeks things are interesting to watch. Sonya sneaks to the bathroom at the same time to watch the boys. She really wanted to have an adult watching the boys without them knowing it. Sonya feels good about the elbow moves, blocks, foot stomps and punches she showed her son. Sonya also pats herself on the back for knowing that an uncoordinated child with autism could learn just enough to make an impression on these boys without really hurting them at this point. That might change after some formal training but not yet. The boys backed off. They were supriesed and even a little upset. They weren’t betting on Charles fighting back. It wasn’t too long though until they were fast friends again. So after two weeks of the ‘Amended Rule,’ it seems that Sonya had won the question or argument between Chris and herself. Chris was feeling really bad. He definetly had his tale tucked between his legs. “I’m sorry honey! You were right Sonya. Charles needed to stand up for himself. And the karate is good for him in more ways than one. Sonya my dad was never around to show me these things. You seem to have soaked up the girl and boy stuff from your parents. Thanks for being right and sticky up for Charles against me.” He then hands Sonya a big bunch of flowers. Sonya accepts the flowers this time. She loves Chris and Charles. She knows the best thing for a child with autism is routine. Change is not something that is easy. Divorce would be devastating for Charles. Still Sonya was growing very tired of Chris and his swinging back and forth from calling her names and then coming around to her way of thinking. He was also in denial about Charles’s issues. Marriage counseling was deep in the back of her mind or dare she thing about divorce knowing what that really would mean. Oh well that was for another day as all was okay with this battle of the war being fought and over for now.